The Cipher, with a basketball review and Detective's games

from May. 1, 2023: Before the men’s national championship game last month, I wrote about the Wilson Evo NXT. That’s the ball used in March Madness the last two years, and it’s mostly notable because it’s a hilarious shade of vibrant orange. But it’s also divisive. Many players and coaches did not like the way the basketball felt in their hands, or they liked other balls better, or they only liked the Evo NXT when it was broken in.

I do not think I had ever thought about the quality of a basketball before writing that article. Now it is pretty much all I think about. At a friend’s baby shower recently, I ended up palming two basketballs that were next to the beer fridge in the basement. When I shoot hoops at the playground, I am getting persnickety about which ball I might use in a pointless pick-up game against strangers. I spent part of the other day thinking about The Rock® brand basketballs of my youth and whether they still exist. They do! I’m now a sicko about basketballs.

I bought about seven basketballs to try out for my story, and today I purchased one more. I went into a dollar store because I had 5 minutes to kill before the post office reopened, and I spotted it almost immediately upon walking in. This was, perhaps, the greatest basketball I’d ever seen.

SPORTS. It’s a basketball for sports! Or, rather, a basket ball. I dribbled it a few times and it already seems to be in rough shape. But it was worth the dollar. Am I going to bring this to the court? You damn betcha. Everyone will have to play with this crappy basketball that reads SPORTS. Or, you know, we could play other sports with it. The only limit is our imagination!

FINAL SCORE: This basketball is really low-quality, but it was also only a dollar. I have to take price into account. Therefore I give this basketball 4 out of 5 old-timey basketball guys.

-Dan McQuade

from Sept. 22, 2023: The morning light hits our bedroom just right this time of year. My wife is off to her teaching job pretty early, so it’s just my cat and me in the bed when the sun shines right into my face and wakes me up. Sometimes, it’s hard to get up when Detective John Munch is pressed up against me, purring a misplaced thank you for breakfast. But this time of year our usually chill cat is the one pawing me awake.

At certain times in early fall and spring, the light hits the room in such a way that she can play her second-favorite game. She’ll meow at the window until I lower the shade a little and put my phone up. Then she chases the reflection around the bedroom, shaking and pouncing, spinning around as I move the light around her. 

This morning she was particularly insistent. It was just a little cloudy, which meant the reflection wasn’t as good as it normally is. I could only shine it in certain places. (I need to get a small mirror, so I can do this for real.) But then I came downstairs, the clouds had parted, and we got ready for another game we can do this year. This is the one that’s actually her favorite. Our front door has 10 glass panels on it. The edges are beveled. As a result, when I open the door at certain times of day in some seasons, light streaks across our living room. Detective lives for this. She will do it for 10 minutes before getting tired. There are multiple streaks going across the room for her to chase. She’ll purr afterwards, happy she got the exercise and the fun.

Early fall is my favorite season. It pretty much always was, but getting to play these games with Detective makes it even better.

-Dan McQuade