The Cipher, with Mickey Morandini and Detective

The Doo Dah Parade has been an Ocean City tradition since 1986. Per the official website, the parade began “as an event to celebrate the end of income-tax season” and is “Ocean City’s annual tribute to humor.” The highlight of the parade is the end of it: More than 300 basset hounds—350 this year, parade-goers were told—march down the boardwalk, some clad in costumes, all of them incredibly cute.

But there’s also other parade-type stuff. The Shriners ride their little carts around. Boy Scouts march in their uniforms. String bands from the mummers—Philadelphia’s sequined entertainment troupes staffed by cops and plumbers and other groups you might not expect would be into sequins—pass by and play some old tunes. Fans of Howard Stern will not be surprised to learn that Suzanne Muldowney, who is now 70, marched in the parade in her homemade Shelley the South Jersey Shore Mermaid costume. When she passed the MC, Muldowney took the mic and said the costume and character will be 30 years old on May 1.

The parade also featured a group in fursuit costumes and, not far behind them, two people dressed as hot dogs. “Are you part of the parade?” the MC asked. Later, she said she remembered who those people were. They were part of the parade.

Unique this year was a “Save the Whales” car. This has been an issue in South Jersey for a while now. Various companies want to put giant wind turbines off the coast. There are already some off Atlantic City; you can see them when you drive into town. Initially, the opposition just seemed to be visual. People did not want the turbines because they thought they were ugly. (I disagree.) Now there is more organized opposition; the issue people have coalesced around is “saving the whales.” There is no evidence that the turbines harm whales, which is also the state’s stance. Obviously, that is not the stance of others.

My friends and I were seated near anti-windmill protesters. They were asking people to sign a petition. Oddly, they also yelled this at basically everyone in the parade, hoping people would break formation and sign. This led to my favorite moment in the parade. The grand marshal this year was former Phillies second baseman Mickey Morandini. He rode in an open-top Jaguar and signed autographs. This led to the following exchange:

Protesters: Stop the windmills!
Mickey Morandini, looking more confused than any man I’ve ever seen in my life: Windmills?

He quickly turned around to avoid thinking about it.

Obviously, I attended the Doo Dah Parade because I like Ocean City and I wanted to see all the basset hounds. But mostly, I attended it for things like this—brief, memorable moments of hilarity. I should’ve signed the petition to thank the protesters.

-Dan McQuade

It’s been nice out, so Detective wants to go out on the porch. She has long proven herself to be too scared of basically everything outside to actually run away, so I let her sit with me when I'm out there. She will sniff around, put her scent on things that the neighborhood outdoor cats have been attempting to claim as their own, and flop around in the sun. So cute! She also likes to chip at the European starlings that have made a nest nearby, but I make allowances for cat-on-bird aggression when it’s an invasive species. The starlings, I mean. I suppose my cat is also an invasive species. But look how cute!

Anyway, this is a photo from the other day when she wanted to get back inside. My next-door neighbor found this cat statue at a house he was cleaning out and gave it to me as a birthday present. Obviously, my wife and I have placed the trash-picked statue right next to the door. Sometimes Detective sits next to the statue, and it is very cute. I am confident she knows it is not a real cat.

-Dan McQuade